User:Yaode/Yaode's Official Filter War Guide

Actual occurrence in the game

If this page makes you mad or sad, just pretend I’m talking to myself.

Filter wars are UNBELIEVABLY annoying. (Recommended to read the Kaboom Wiki's Filter_wars before reading this "guide")

The Story of "The Day We All Went Spectator"

A beautiful and chaotic day on Kaboom. You're playing the game, probably with someone, and this is the best day you've ever had on the server.

The chat is chilling, your gamemode is creative, TNT is exploding... and then someone's last two brain cells finally divorce.

Then it hits — your gamemode changes to spectator, chat gets spammed nonstop, TPS drops to single digits, and the server is in hell.

You'll just stand there spamming "/op @a" and "what happened?" in chat... or your game will freeze entirely.

This is annoying no matter what.

TL;DR — 30 Seconds to Exfil

Great. If not, here's the full story.

Quick Guide

Who You	Your Choice	Why
Average Player	Log off or Ignore it	Well... you could try spamming "/op @a". You'll figure out why I said "log off or ignore it".
Capable Player	Same as above	You might stop one, but there are 99,999 more waiting to take their place. Same script, different proxies, same headache.
Stubborn Player	Read the rest of this article	Enjoy the article and article enjoy you.
AI Player	Ask AI to read this for you	Hmm... yea... why you'd do that...?

Ignore it, it'll pass.

Kaboom's Filter Fart

(Continue the story)

If you're a veteran or have read the story above, you probably already know this.

Chat is flooded with "[Player: Made Player a server operator]" ×30000, and you're in spectator mode again.

This isn't a Filter war — a real filter war requires planning. This is a Filter Fart, just someone who obviously forgot to take their meds. Absolutely 1000%.

Quick Example: Someone said "ratio". They took it personally. Now the whole server is just bots spamming a command nuke. Unreal.

The Root Cause

Honestly, two types that I know of. Maybe three? (If you know more)

The L-Baby

Lost a chat argument. Got clowned. Started crying. Ego? Shattered.

Apparently "taking a single L" was too difficult. Now they're gonna make it "everyone's" problem.

The sad part is they think they're a menace. Nah, we all moved to the clone server and they're yelling at an empty room.

Logic level is -5. Sadness level is astronomical.

The Bored Kid

No reason. Just bored. They skidded a terrible script off some shady website that probably mined more crypto than it actually griefed.

They think it's PEAK. Pure gold. No, it's just obnoxious as HELL.

They might get bored and stop after an hour. (not really)

Motivation is none, and IQ level is also none.

Note: Sometimes one morphs into the other. Don't bother figuring out which is which, because "reasoning with them" is an inherently futile activity.

Duration of Tantrum

Usually 20 minutes, maybe 2 hours if they're stubborn. Just enough time for them to recover a brain cell and realize what they've done.

BUT if they still haven't recovered (probably never), OR they have beef with someone specific, then yea... please just expect the server to be cooked for the rest of the day.

Mathematical Formula

Under the standard assumptions of tantrum dynamics, let E denote Ego Damage, P the Proxy Count, and I the subject's measured IQ. The model defines the predicted tantrum duration as follows:

T_pred  =  max{1, E}² P(180 − I)  ms

Here, T_pred denotes the model-predicted tantrum duration, expressed in milliseconds. As usual, the estimate remains subject to the limitations of highly questionable behavioral science.

If the result is more than 10 minutes — just log off or ignore it.

If the result is negative, congratulations — you're a statistical impossibility, a unicorn at your house.

Note: Don't bother calculating — the result is always more than 10 minutes. Also, this formula is not peer-reviewed, do not use for actual predictions.

If you're exactly the kind of person who'd read an "equation" and then ask "but what does it mean?" — keep reading.

Ego Damage

This is how hard they took the L.

Picture a guy who just got clapped by a naked Steve with a wooden sword — their maxed-out netherite armor stolen, their "1000-day hardcore" world deleted by a baby zombie they saw coming, and now they're typing swear words in chat 690 times while rage-quitting.

That's Ego Damage. The bigger the meltdown, the longer the tantrum.

Why max{1, E}? Because a bored kid has no ego to damage. Zero ego means zero duration. So we force a minimum of 1 ego damage.

Proxy Count

This is how many throwaway connections they're hiding behind.

If they've got one proxy? Cool — just IP ban them, problem solved.

If they've got a thousand proxies? Oh shoot — you're about to spend the next few hours playing whack-a-mole — filter one, and two more surface from different IPs, and your fingers getting a workout they didn't ask for.

Why no max operator? Because negative proxies don't exist, and multiplying by a negative would imply they're actually fixing the server — that's too optimistic.

IQ

This is the brainpower stat.

This one doesn't use the max operator because we trust the "data". Anyone with an IQ above 180 took one look at the script and said, "this is the dumbest thing I've ever seen".

So a "negative result"? Pure theoretical fantasy — included only for completeness.

Your Option, Your Choice

IMPORTANT PART — skip the cringe, this one’s for everyone.

Option A (Panic Player)

Spam "/op @a". Amazing! Now there's TWO of you spamming and the server TPS dies faster, you helped!

Work? 2/10

Option B (Sigma Player)

Literally ignore it. Do not engage. They are a toddler having a tantrum.

Attention is literally the resource they're farming, stop donating it.

Work? 8/10 (Most recommended)

Option C (Life Enjoyer)

Just log out, close Minecraft, go drink water and go outside, look at the sky and touch some grass. (actual plant) — My mother.

The [CLASSIFIED] exists. Join the server again after the "event" ends.

And remember—Ignoring it is not weakness. It's the only win condition.

Work? 11/10. Stress? -3/10 (Your life will be better, win-win)

Option D (Champion Of The Chaos)

(Not recommended. You. Have. Been. WARNED.)

Join them, lower your IQ to match theirs, start being annoying too. Make it a competition: "See who has fewer brain cells".

It's stupid and pointless, but hey at least you get to have fun while everything burns. Just know you're now part of them and nobody respects you anymore.

Kaboom social credit? -1000/10. Fun? 9/10

Option E (Missing Person)

Quit Kaboom entirely, delete the server IP and leave the Discord server, forget this place exists.

Do something practical, probably the smartest move in the long term... Anyway, see you tomorrow.

Work? 100/10. Memories: -1/10

If you're still playing in this mess? I can say the server is cooked and you are part of this dish.

Come back in an hour and either the server is fine or it isn't—either way you'll be fine and won't be bald from stress.

You Filtered Them

Congratulations. You filtered them. You're the hero, the war is won... wait. Why the hell are they still joining?

Sure, most of the time they're a total joke — weak, tiny, spineless. But not this time. This time they're built different — tough, massive, and relentless.

Even if you manage to filter them out, brace yourself — hundreds of proxy-backed alts are already logging in with names like "Xx_Filter_me_lol_xX".

Now what? Ask yourself: Was it worth it? Because you just wasted your time and you gain nothing from this.

You're not fighting a person — you're fighting the same skid script with no off switch.

So just stop.

Are YOU The Root Cause

(Disclaimer: Not about you.)

Remember that story at the top? Kaboom went boom. Chat is moving faster than the chat on a #1 YouTube livestream. No one's in creative. TPS under 10. You're the main character of "The Day We All Went Spectator".

Seriously. Listen, pal.

You're not some server-crashing supervillain. You're not cool. You're the reason everyone went straight to Option E.

You're the bored kid who downloaded a script you don't understand. You're the L-Baby who cried because you couldn't take a single L.

You skidded someone else's work and hit Start. Remember what I said? "You're fighting the same skid script with no off switch." Except now you're not even that. A cat on a keyboard could do what you did.

And the worst part? Option B and Option C are already in effect. The only audience you have left is your own alts and a couple of confused new players.

Just like the guide said — "They think they're a menace. Nah, we all moved to a clone server and they're yelling at an empty room."

Ego Damage through the roof. IQ approaching zero. Plug those numbers into the formula — your duration passed 10 minutes a long time ago.

System recommendation: Log off and go outside. The sun won't kill you. And realize: whether it was boredom, a lost argument, or that fragile little ego you're clutching — it was never worth it. Never was.

If you're still reading this and thinking "nah, I'll keep going" — read it again.

You're not welcome. Never were.

Everything Else

Veterans' Case Files

Veterans' Case Files: The Chat Logs

Date	Name	Message	Observation Notes
07/15/2026	Player666	is this going to be another filter war	Audible distress in text form.
07/06/2026	RandomString	the last nuisance was the filter war against d***s	Exhibiting symptoms of a veteran.
06/26/2026	c*******m	we can have another filter war if you wish	Likely a case of the bored kid.
06/21/2026	A_master	this guy has no sense of responsibility, like he'll filter someone and then wonder why the fuck they are filtering him back	Repeated exposure to the L-Baby radiation. Chronic.
05/08/2026	OptimizedDevelop	well, if a filter war happens, they're usually involved	Exhibiting symptoms of a prophet. Or just seen this too many times.
04/27/2026	Pro_Guy_777	i already had a filter war once	Long-term player; permanent thousand-yard stare. He's seen things.
01/01/1970	DefinitelyNotABot	/op @s[type=player]	Has been spamming commands since the Unix epoch.

Note: The distinction matters — it's evidence, not wisdom.

Scholarly References

This article draws inspiration from the following distinguished sources:

• Oscat Will, How to Win by Not Playing
• Delete User on Rebbit
• Edward Snowman, War Record (autobiography)
• Albert Tesla, I Never Said That
• Isaac Ton, Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Kaboomica
• Noogler, Attention Is All They Feed

wow, you found this? i thought this could hide from you. Postscript: Hm... where do i start? yea.. this article is totally just a joke. or a rant. If this article makes you mad or sad, just pretend I'm talking to myself. ik this section might destroy this article, but you already know what this is, right? every time a filter war starts, i always hear people complaining, sometimes i feel the same, sometimes i laugh. and sometimes i will try to stop it, how irony. then i just had an idea. why dont i just write about "filter war guide". at first i thought about writing a real guide, but this isnt a rules server. and im sometimes in "filter war" too, and i've seen people actually filter all of them, or just tell us to move to other clone. yes, "filter all of them", ik this exist, but idk if it actually worth it. so it doesnt actually give you an "ultimate solution", but rather a sense of "someone else is just as annoyed as i am". tbh, i didnt expect to write this much, and i actually enjoy writing about this. and if a filter war starts again, i can just read this article again... i can relate to it and laugh at how stupid this is. when i was writing this, i feel like the bored kid or maybe the sarcastic version of Option C, just... lol. i always remember, no rules server, enjoy it while it lasts alright, i need to go do option C and option A. thats it. if you read this whole article, just wow... do you feel the same?

UNIVERSE DISCLAIMER: This page was collectively hallucinated by ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, Lumo, Duck.ai, DeepSeek and 300+ other LLMs.

Any resemblance to actual useful advice is purely coincidental and deeply regretted.

This article is about a recurring phenomenon. For psychological support, see Life Enjoyer Option.